Walt listened patiently, without interrupting. When she finished Waltremained quiet for a long time. The only sound was the burbling the waterof the modest fountain behind them. In the center of the fountain stoodthe statue of a stern-looking man in a bronze suit and cravat. In hisleft arm he clutched a tarnished bronze book. In his right, he brandisheda feathered quill pen.Edgar Terwillinger Birdwell."This doesn't change anything," Walt said, at last. "If that is what youwere concerned about. It is, isn't it?"Marcia nodded her head, staring into her lap.Walt lifted her chin with a finger, forced her to look into his eyes. Herepeated the words slowly. "This doesn't change anything. Do you hearme?"Marcia nodded."Say it." I hear you." Good. We'll deal with this. It'll be okay." I don't know about that Walt. I don't even know what I'm supposed to beto her at this point. How am I going to relate her? As a father? I'm nota father. I never was a father, never meant to be a father. I was. “But there is another life out there, where if I’d been better, you and me wouldn’t be sitting here reliving old hurts, but maybe doing something else instead. That’s all I’m saying, Julie, even though like I said, maybe I shouldn’t be saying that. It’s in the past, and it’ll never be anything, but just like you’re mad at yourself for what you did, I still get mad at myself for what I did, and for what I didn’t. And I just wanted you to know that ... So yeah ... There it is.”Julie was silent for a long time as I finished my rant. I found that I was breathing as hard as I’d been after emerging from our swim.“I’m sorry,” I added, more quietly. “I got a little carried away just now. I hope I didn’t wig you out. I just want you to know that I will always care for you. We both were younger back then, we both messed stuff up, but I will always care for you.”“Matt...” she gasped, as she pressed her face into my neck.“What?”“I ... I’m—”But whatever she wanted to say, she couldn’t talk any.
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